You Matter

I'm sitting here watching the very last episode of Parenthood. Well, I'm watching it now, but by the time I'm done with this post, it will most definitely be over and I will still be crying. I don't know about you, but I think this is about the best show to ever grace my television. Ever. Anytime Nabil comes into the living room and I am in a puddle of emotional mush, his first comment is "Parenthood?". It's a good kind of cry though.

The show gives you the bad with the good, and it cuts to my core because that's real life. In real life you get in fights with your spouse, you might fail at your own small business even though you put all of your blood, sweat, and tears into it, and you will probably get so frustrated with your family that the only thing you can do is to yell, loud. Life is frustrating, unfair, and really, really hard.

But then there is all the good stuff. This month I made my 10 on 10 about my beautiful niece, Myra. I have so much love for that little girl, and she doesn't even know it yet. It feels like my heart is going to pop when I see how excited she gets to see her uncle. "Play?" she says as she grabs his hand and leads him into her room strewn with all of her toys; each of which she plays with for a total of thirty seconds before she's bored and it's onto the next. It's that moment that is the highlight of our whole week. Probably of our whole year. Probably more.

But back to the show. Tonight as I began my weekly ritual of removing my mascara with my own tears, I was reminded (again) why it is so important to document life. I'm not going to give any spoilers, but I will say that in the last episode, there is a wedding. ...I guess there is a little spoiler. Sorry. One of the characters, Max, photographs the wedding. That's such a simplistic and almost diminishing way of putting it, because what he's actually doing is giving everyone a reminder of a time they all shared together.

Thinking back to my wedding, my favorite part of the whole weekend was seeing all of the people that were the most important people to the both me and my husband in the same place, at the same time. Nabil's high school and college friends danced with my parents. My dad laughed with Nabil's relatives from Texas. And my last living grandparent made her last big trip from home. She past away three years later, and my favorite memory of her is still watching her cut a rug with her walker in tow at my wedding. Hindsight is 20/20, but if I were to know that day would be one of the best times of my life, not just because I married the love of my life or partied till I couldn't take it anymore, but because all of my favorite people and all of Nabil's favorite people were in one place celebrating us. If I would have known that then, I would have tried a little harder to soak it all in. Thankfully, I have some incredible photos to remind me of the whole day.

In the present, the bad things seem so difficult and our failures seem so big, and if you are anything like me, you tend to minimize your own successes. As life goes on, the bad things seem to fade away with the past, and you really only remember the good. The real good. Not the things you bought, but the moments you shared. The relationships that you have in your life now, may not always be there, so hold on to what you have because you never know when it might be gone. I know that sounds cliche, but it doesn't make it less true.

My favorite photos that I have from my wedding and throughout my life are the photos that show real life and real relationships. The photos of me and my sister being as weird as we always are around one another. When we were little I half hated her and half loved her. There is one photo in particular of Syd back in the day. It gives a twinge to my gut. For one because I know I should have been nicer to her, but also because I love her so much now. I love how much we have been through together. I love that she is my best friend now and I love watching her reach all of her potential. I'm not shitting you, that girl is out of this world amazing. I see that photo and I feel so lucky to be her only sister. I don't even have to share. All of that, in one photo.

Nabil and his two siblings and they share a similar story. When you are in the same room with them, you can feel how much they like each other. I don't just mean that they love each other because they are bound by blood. I mean they actually want to be around one another. Everyone has their crazy quirks (and I'm no exception), but they will always stand by one another and be the first in line to support the other.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is document your life. You will not see that line in your chin in 5 years. That thought will disappear, and instead you will see how much you love your daughter. You will be reminded that when your son was young his little nose used to get so red whenever he was out in the cold. And that thought will make your heart ache, because he isn't that little boy anymore.

Document your life. Do it for your family, and your spouse, and your best friend. Do it for you. Document your wedding because it is the only time all of those people will physically come together to support you and your relationship. Cherish the time and the relationships that you have. If you ever lose someone, cherish it all even more. Document your life so you have a reminder how much you are loved and how much you love. Document your life because you are important. Your kids and your grand-kids don't just love you as they know you now, they love you before they even existed. Celebrate real life. Document your life because you and the people around you matter.